Kayla’s Quirks: Balls – July 28th

While watching the Today Show this morning, I was filling Andy in about my weekend, during which he had been away.

Me: “I watched this Netflix movie and it had this married couple who had all kinds of sexual jokes between them and they liked to fool around with each other. Well, the wife made a Twitter account for her husband’s balls, and then they would write tweets from the perspective of his balls, like ‘It’s dark in here and Neil’s jeans stink,’ and ‘Neil won’t stop touching me.'”

Andy: (laughing)

Me: “So, what would you think if we started a Twitter for your balls?”

Andy: “No.”

Me: “Your balls are big and they deserve their own account.”

Andy: “I don’t even have a Twitter account!”

Me: “I know! But your balls could.”

Andy: (laughing) “No.”

Me: “What might be some things that your balls would say?”

Andy: “I’m afraid to tell you because you might actually do it.”

Me: “Would they say, ‘It’s so hot in here!?'”

Andy: (pause) “They might say things like, ‘I can’t ever get my own space,’ or things about being stuck to my leg.”

Me: (laughing) “Or things about bouncing all the time?”

Andy: “Yeah.”

Me: “What would they say about your penis?”

Andy: “They would call him a prick for getting out more than they do.”

Me: (laughing) “That’s a good one!”

Andy: “Or they would say they need a haircut.”

Me: “Or they could complain about working nonstop, because they’re always producing sperm.”

Later that morning…

Me: “I bet your balls have a lot to say.”

Andy: (laughing) “This Twitter thing can’t happen.”

Me: “Husband, I still have a month left of summer. It might happen.”

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