I say a lot of weird stuff. I can’t help it. It’s just the way my mind works. I’m quirky. Sometimes it gets me strange looks. Sometimes it makes people laugh. Other times it makes people not want to talk to me anymore. Either way, it makes things interesting.
I usually save my weirdest stuff for Andy, because he’s married to me so he has to listen (well maybe not listen, listen, but at least put up with it). I can always tell when I’ve said something ‘not normal’ or sexually inappropriate because I’ll get one of two reactions from him:
1. A very loud laugh while he throws his head back
2. A slow head shake, closed eyes, and a pat on my head along with a “Oh, wife…” (kind of like what you might do to your dog when they totally embarrass you in public).
Well, I’ve decided to share some of the weird and sexually laden shit I say with anyone who wants to read it. That’s what blogs are for, right?
I’m going to call these posts “Kayla’s Quirks” and publish them whenever I feel like it.
Here’s a sample:
Last night, Andy and I were talking about kissing and facial hair. Andy grows a goatee or beard every so often, and while I used to hate it, I’ve grown accustomed to the prickly feel. However, it effects our kissing. I do pull away sometimes because I HATE having a bastard hair poke my sensitive lip or shove itself up my nose. It’s friggin’ annoying!
So while laying in bed, we had this conversation…
Me: “Husband, we don’t make out that much anymore.”
Andy: “I know. You always pull away from me.”
Me: “That’s because I don’t like being poked by your prickly hairs.”
Andy: “I’ve been thinking about shaving it down. Does my beard prevent you from kissing me?”
Me: “No, not really. I still like kissing you, but….(pause)….your beard hair is a roadblock to make out town.”
After laughing for about 30 seconds, Andy told me I should post that quote on my blog.
Then we made out.
The other thing I want to do on my blog is start something called “The Texts.” These posts will be random text conversations I’ve had, mostly between Andy and I. The reason for sharing these is because texting is ridiculous and I love it – it’s so easy to put the wrong word or misinterpret what someone meant, which leads to all kinds of awesomeness. I also say weird stuff in my texts, so stay tuned. (I should say that I got this idea from Brittany, Herself – she has a section on her blog called “The Emails” and it’s awesome.)
Here’s a sample. Let’s call it: Body parts – July 23rd
Me: Husband, what are your top 5 favorite parts of my body?
Andy: Your butt your brain your va-jay-jay your stomach your shape and your boobs
Me: Umm….that’s 6. But thank you for answering honestly.
Andy: Ur welcome
Me: I like how you put my butt before my brain.
Andy: Lol they r a tie
Me: Okay, now you’re just lying. My brain can’t sway and twerk like my butt can.
Andy: Lol no it can’t butt it’s just as sexy
Me: Please tell me you meant to write but as butt.
Andy: Yes I did that was part of the fun
Me: And that’s why I love you.
Andy: I’m glad.